As a business psychologist, I’m often asked what the ultimate key to success is. Is it intelligence? Influence? Innovation? Nope. The answer is far simpler, far warmer, and far, far funnier: community. And at the heart of every great community? Humour.
Yes, your six-pack abs might be impressive, but they won’t hold a candle to a six-pack of mates who make you laugh until you snort.
We now know that being part of a strong community can help you live longer. And even better? Being someone who lifts the group – through good humour, humility, and humanity – doesn’t just make you popular at parties, it might actually be the ticket to more parties in your lifetime.
The Science Bit (Don’t Worry, It’s Fun)
Let’s start in Roseto, Pennsylvania. No, not that fancy Italian wine bar – but the site of a medical mystery that baffled scientists.
In the 1960s, researchers were stunned to discover that this small, working-class town had shockingly low rates of heart disease. But why?
Was it the Mediterranean diet? Daily gym sessions? A village-wide kale cult?
Not even close.
When researchers arrived, they found meatballs being inhaled like performance-enhancing snacks, booze flowing freely, and people lighting up cigarettes like they were auditioning for Mad Men: The Musical.
And yet – they were thriving. The secret? Community.
People in Roseto lived near extended family, helped their neighbours, shared their worries, and – most importantly – laughed together. No one was isolated. No one felt invisible. Everyone belonged.
The researchers dubbed it The Roseto Effect: the power of close-knit communities to protect both your heart and your humour.
Over at Harvard, a tiny little institution you might not have heard of, an 85-year study (yes, eighty-five!) came to a similar conclusion: good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Not wealth. Not fame. Not kale. Just connection.
The current study director, Dr. Robert Waldinger, summed it up:
“Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”
So, in the words of Del Boy: Even if your mates are all plonkers, stick with them. They might just save your life.
The Laughing Link
So what’s the glue in all these thriving communities? Laughter.
It’s not just the life of the party who benefits. In fact, it’s anyone who contributes to the feel-good factor – whether you’re the joke teller, the smile sharer, or the brilliant belly-laugh audience member. In community life, those who make others feel good thrive. It’s evolutionary. People want to be around people who bring the vibes.
But Humourology teaches us something deeper: humour isn’t just about the ha-ha’s. It’s about the ah-ha’s. It’s about:
- Humility – Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself
- Humanity – Connecting with others through common truths
- Good humour – The ability to take things lightly, but never lightly take others
These values build trust, ease tension, and foster inclusion. And it turns out, being a great listener – someone who genuinely laughs, reacts, and engages – is just as valuable as being the gag merchant.
As I always say, not everyone can be the comic, but everyone can be part of the comedy.Tips to Live Long, Laugh Loud, and Love It
If you want to add years to your life and life to your years, here’s your Humourology prescription:
- Get Into Good Company
Join something. Anything. A football club, a walking group, a book club (even if the closest you get to reading is the back of the wine bottle). Blue Zones—those magical places where people live to 100+—show that people with tight-knit communities and social rituals live longer. - Don’t Just Laugh—Contribute to the Laughter
You don’t have to be a stand-up, but you do have to stand up for the spirit of the group. Listen well. Laugh often. Share generously. If you make people feel good, you’ll always be a valued member of the village (and probably get the biggest slice of cake). - Practice Humourology Daily
Look at life through the lens of humour. Embrace the ridiculous. Laugh with, not at. Remember, in the worst moments, humour is often the only way through. Gallows humour is proof that even in the face of hardship, humans can turn pain into punchlines.
As bestselling author and happiness researcher Helen Russell said on The Humourology Podcast
“There’s something about the sense of community, and I don’t know if you can get that sense of community without trust and equality.”
She went on to highlight how Denmark builds strong, happy communities through everyday trust and shared values—not through grand gestures, but simple, social rituals: shared coffee breaks, flat hierarchies, and a general sense of ‘we’re all in this together.’
Laugh Lines & Lifelines
I really value all the amazing communities I’m in – from the local café to the Rambling Speakers, from my running club to Soho House, from AFC Wimbledon’s football community to the Gresham Club, from GBC Monday Night Club to my fabulous family ties, from my Padel partners to the local pub. All these places bring me joy and laughter, and I’m quietly hoping that all these communities will bring years of love, good health, vibrancy, and laughter to my life.
I’m walking the walk, talking the talk, and living the life – with community at the core.
Belonging builds buoyancy and breadth. Whether I live to a healthy 110 or not, I know I’m wringing the most out of life and leaving a legacy of laughter.
The Data’s In. The Laughs Are Loud.
The conclusion is clear:
If you live with Humourology values – humour, humility, humanity – you’ll not only be the life of the party, you’ll likely be at more of them.
So go on – build your community, tell that terrible pun, dance at the wedding, sing at the football, and laugh at yourself. Because the funny thing is… it could be the very thing that keeps you alive.
See you next Tuesday.
Warmest,
Paul x
Photo Ekaterina Shakharova
