What do Monty Python, Freddie Mercury, Hot Chocolate, and a very stubborn sausage have in common?
Answer: John Altman – BAFTA and Emmy-winning composer, conductor, and the man whose music has made you cry (Titanic), cheer (GoldenEye), and whistle with glee (Life of Brian). He’s scored some of cinema’s most iconic scenes, backed up rock royalty, and brought comic brilliance to the soundtrack of our lives.
Now he joins me on The Humourology Podcast for a joyful deep dive into the rhythm of laughter and the harmony of humour. And what a ride it is.
Musicians, Comedians & the Curious Case of Cricket
Altman grew up in a musically rich household where Judy Garland might drop in for tea and Jack Benny left boot polish on the antimacassars. With family connections to the London Palladium and showbiz royalty as regulars at the flat, John was surrounded by two things from birth: music and mirth.
It’s no wonder he believes, as I do, that great music and great comedy share the same DNA. Both rely on rhythm, timing, and knowing exactly when to hold back and when to hit the big note—or the big laugh. He explains why so many comedians are failed musicians, and why so many musicians wish they were comedians. It’s all in the timing.
And cricket. Apparently, top musicians and comics also have a peculiar obsession with cricket. The pacing, the tension, the glorious slow-build to the punch(line) or the six… it’s all part of the same psychological stew.
The Hidden Man Revealed
Everyone knows John Altman’s music. Fewer know his name – which is exactly why Hidden Man his brilliant autobiography, is such a revelation. Altman scored GoldenEye, Titanic, and Life of Brian (yes, that’s him whistling “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”), orchestrated for Elmer Bernstein and Jule Styne, and arranged hits for Rod Stewart, George Michael, Tina Turner, Diana Ross, and Björk.
He’s played with legends, mentored Amy Winehouse, made Ingrid Bergman smile, and got Freddie Mercury laughing in a motorway café. From Miss Marple to “Sheila’s Wheels”, and from James Cameron to Charlie Chaplin, Hidden Man is a dazzling memoir of music, magic and mischief.
Monty Python’s Terry Gilliam got it right: Altman truly is “The Hidden Man.”
🎸The Ruttles, The Pythons & The Unexpected Power of Playing It Straight
If you’ve ever laughed along to The Ruttles the perfect parody of The Beatles—you’ve heard John’s genius in full swing. He didn’t just spoof the music; he captured its essence. The result was so pitch-perfect, George Harrison himself declared he’d rather have been a Ruttle than a Beatle. Praise doesn’t come much higher than that.
But here’s the twist: John insists that the funniest music is played completely straight. No knowing winks, no ironic jazz hands. Just top-tier musicianship delivered with the sincerity of a Beethoven sonata—whether it’s underscoring a sketch about crucifixion or a football manager singing a pop song.
Comedy, as John shows, often lies in the commitment to the bit. And when the musicians believe, the audience laughs even harder.
🕺Sausage, Chips and Freddie Mercury
One of the most delightful moments in our chat involved a late-night stop at a motorway café, a waitress insistent on the presence of a sausage, and a certain Queen frontman rendered helpless with laughter.
It’s the kind of story you couldn’t script – because if you did, it wouldn’t be as funny. It’s proof that humour lives in the margins: in the unexpected, in the everyday, in the absurdity of life’s little rules. And when John and Freddie Mercury reenacted that scene every time they met, it became their own private comedy routine – one that never failed to deliver.
🎭Who’s the Funniest Non-Comedian in the Business?
When asked which non-comedian had made him laugh the most, John named a brilliant session guitarist whose quips and pranks have left studio legends in stitches for decades. While not a household name, he’s proof that the best comedy often happens behind the scenes – between takes, behind the conductor’s stand, or in the back of the band van.
And speaking of behind-the-scenes banter, that now-legendary sausage incident? It happened with none other than Freddie Mercury laughing so hard he nearly hit the floor. It’s a masterclass in comic timing, proving that when music and mischief meet, magic (and sausages) happen.
🤣And the Best Joke?
We end every show with our guest’s pick for their favourite joke. John didn’t disappoint. He chose one from a master of the one-liner – crafted so perfectly that I refuse to spoil it here. Let’s just say it’s from the legendary Bob Monkhouse, and if you’re a fan of elegant construction, you’ll be laughing and admiring the craftsmanship in equal measure.
So, tune in to hear tales of orchestral antics, Monty Python mischief, musical magic, and motorway madness. This is one episode that truly puts the ‘harmony’ in Humourology.
John Altman is living proof that when you mix music with mirth – and throw in a dash of mischief – you can orchestrate not just hits, but happiness.
See you next Tuesday.
Warmest,
Paul x
