I often get asked by clients, friends, and family if I can speak to young people they know and teach them the basics of face-to-face communication. It’s usually because they’ve got a university interview, job interview, or some situation that requires stepping out of their comfort zone. Over the nine years I spent as Team Psychologist on the Sky TV show School of Hard Knocks, I encountered numerous young people from disadvantaged backgrounds who didn’t have the confidence to speak up in potential work scenarios. But now, it seems this hesitancy to communicate extends across all income levels and backgrounds. Why? Is it simply that they’ve grown up as digital natives? Or is it a deeper issue tied to a lack of real-world practice?
The answer seems to be both. The research is piling up: studies show that many young adults—especially Gen Z—are uncomfortable with phone calls and, increasingly, face-to-face interactions. They’d rather text or use emojis than risk an awkward silence on a call.
Ironically, this generation, which has more ways to communicate than ever before, often struggles with direct conversation. They are excellent at multi-tasking and hyper-efficient with digital communication, but they find it “weird” to pick up the phone or answer a call from an unknown number.
This communication discomfort isn’t just about technology; it’s also rooted in psychology and sociology. Researchers have linked Gen Z’s communication anxieties to several factors, from the rise of digital platforms to a heightened awareness of scams and fraud, creating a reluctance to engage with unknown calls.
The lack of exposure to real-world social scenarios further complicates matters. The more comfortable we become with digital interactions, the less we feel the need to practise live, unfiltered communication.
It might even be worth thinking of Gen Z as the emoji generation: a group that can effortlessly string together tiny pictures to tell an entire story but finds it challenging to narrate their own life in person. Maybe the modern-day equivalent of “a picture is worth a thousand words” is “an emoji is worth one very awkward conversation.”
Making Interesting Connections Through Vulnerability
Marina Purkiss, a guest on the Humourology Podcast, said something that resonates deeply with this phenomenon: “The people I want to surround myself with are those that smile a bit easier, laugh a bit easier, and are happy to be vulnerable and open because that’s where you make the really interesting connections.”
This is precisely what’s missing when young people shy away from real-time interaction. Vulnerability in communication, whether it’s a joke that lands or a pause that hangs in the air, is where the magic happens. By avoiding face-to-face conversations, young people are missing out on these “interesting connections,” where humour, openness, and real dialogue foster deeper relationships. It’s not just about avoiding awkwardness—it’s about embracing human messiness to build rapport and trust.
Three Ways to Get Better at Human Social Interaction
- Practise Deliberate Conversations
If you avoid something, it only makes it scarier. The same applies to conversations. Encourage young people to start with small, low-stakes interactions, like chatting with a barista or asking for directions. These small wins build confidence. Psychologists call this “exposure therapy,” where gentle, gradual exposure to a feared scenario can reduce anxiety over time. The key is to do it often enough that it becomes less intimidating. - Role-Playing and Mock Interviews
One trick I’ve always found useful, especially with my School of Hard Knocks alumni, is role-playing. Whether it’s a job interview or a social situation, practising what to say and how to say it helps enormously. Use mock interviews or practice social scenarios where young people have to think on their feet. This also teaches them to be flexible and adaptable in conversations, critical skills that can’t be developed behind a keyboard. - Body Language Awareness
Communication isn’t just about words. Non-verbal cues like posture, eye contact, and gestures play a huge role in how we are perceived. By paying attention to their body language, young people can control how confident they appear, even if they’re feeling nervous inside. A straight posture, steady eye contact, and an open stance can make all the difference in creating a positive impression.
With everyone I work with, the goal is always the same: to make them relaxed and confident in front of people, whether that’s over Zoom or in a room. These life skills don’t come naturally to everyone, but they can be learned and practised, no matter your age. Personal, one-to-one communication is key to winning in life. After all, if you can crack a joke in an interview, hold eye contact, and convince the other person you’re both comfortable and competent, you’ve already won half the battle.
So, while it might seem that Gen Z are dodging phone calls, texting their way out of tough conversations, and communicating in cryptic emojis, with a little effort, anyone can unlock the power of real human interaction. Even if they still choose to sign off a job offer with a .
See you next Tuesday.
Warmest,
Paul x
